Name:
Adam Bradford
Subject:
Marriage Restoration (Sep 26, 2015)
Prayer Request:
Dear Brothers and Sisters in The Lord,
I am writing in need of prayer for the protection and restoration of my marriage. My wife Serrinia left our home back in May, 2015, and has not returned. She is staying with her Mom. There is a mountain to be moved in this situation, and if anyone can, it is the Lord.
My wife’s Dad left their family when she was a little girl and started a new family with the woman that he was committing adultery with. Then, when my wife graduated high school, she married a man who was previously married, and, who would not work so she had to support her household. Then he decided to be unfaithful to her as well. She has had a very bad experience with men indeed. Her Mom has many issues with men and a hard history as well. Her Mom has sowed a lot of negativity into the hearts of her children and each one of their marriages have failed. Then I came along.
I have never been unfaithful to my wife or abused her, but I have been very self-centered in my marriage. My wife had a daughter from her previous marriage, and when I met her, my step-daughter was turning 13 years old. I grew up with brothers and never had sisters, so I had no idea how to deal with a teenage girl. What expounded the issue was that my step daughter was an only child in a one parent home, so someone coming into their world was devastating for her. She was used to getting her way in many things and had more of an equal partnership with her mom than a mother/daughter relationship. I was met with resistance and jealousy from the beginning and I had a hard time dealing with this. When my wife was going to move from the area she was living in and marry me, her Mom protested this and none of her family came to our wedding. Her Mom is very demanding and manipulating, and my wife moving away from her made her even more vindictive towards me and our marriage.
Dealing with that and a possessive step daughter made me very cautious of their motives and being a young man, very competitive towards them. I made things hard on my wife when it came to them and it hurt her deeply towards me. As time went on, I thought things would change, but my mother-in-law stays very negative and holds deep grudges against people with refusing to forgive, but still claims to be a believer in the Lord. This same thought pattern of self-righteousness she has passed onto her children and grand-children, especially my step daughter. When my step daughter was married, they made sure to leave me out of the wedding pictures, but included her Dad and his wife. When she had a baby, my wife stayed with her the whole time at the hospital, which I can understand, but then manipulated my wife into staying with her and her husband at their house afterwards for a great deal of time, pretending to get sick and such when my wife would state that she was going to go home.
Before my wife left, my step daughter told my wife that she was not going to return to her job, but stay home and take care of her baby. But when her leave ran out, she lied and said that her husband’s employer was threatening to cut his hours and she needed to return to work. This put my wife in a predicament and she decided to fill in as babysitter. The only problem is that my wife works an evening shift from 4pm to 12 am, and babysitting meant getting up at 7am, driving across the county to watch the baby until 3pm, and then drive straight to work. My wife is like any other Mom that would give all that she has for her kids, but we had no time with each other and it was taking its toll. We got into it and she left. Now, my step-daughter has a live in babysitter (my mother-in-law lives next to her house), and, any attempt that I make to reconcile with my wife, they rage and manipulate against any such attempt.
Now my wife was injured by men and manipulated by her Mom way long before I met her, but when I came into the picture, my immaturity, self-centeredness and dire need to compete and when against her family added to insult to injury. But one thing that is much different from the men that has harmed her spirit in the past is that I am a child of the King, and they were not. Her Dad was not a believer and when she married her past husband, she was a believer and he was not. The men that her Mom has married and has lived with have not been believers as well, but judges all men on the basis of those in whom she has chosen to have in her life. But I am none of these; I am a Blood bought, Spirit filled, redeemed child of God. Her Mom teaches that divorce is an OK thing to do, but in regards to the holy covenants of God between Himself and His children, He hates divorce; Malachi chapter 2.
Since she has left, the Lord has revealed to me the things that I needed to change through repentance that had contributed to the troubles and strains of our marriage. I have since done so, but now that my wife lives over there with them and I am unwelcome to go there, and since she is either working or other there taking care of the baby in the daytime, I never get to see her. I had quit the church we were going to after she left, for she was going and I was going afterwards, and seeing her there sitting away from me and with her daughter and her family, it hurt me for I wanted them to be with me. As of recently, I have returned there due that my Dad goes there and I had a duty to make bulletins there, which no one else wished to take up, but through my Dad have pleaded with me to come back. I noticed that my wife became more distant and cold towards me when I left there also, and my step-daughter decided to become more embolden with her insults towards me due that I was out of sight, out of mind. Now that I am back in sight, I can at least see my wife, a sight I have been missing very dearly.
Now in my conclusion, I wished to share with you the complexity of the situation and why I state that I need a miracle. I had never been married before, and I married this woman I love so very much that is chased by cursed marriages within her family and it needs to come to a halt within this marriage. We are believers and she needs to realize that divorce is not the answer, but the problem. When she told me that a no-fault divorce was what she wanted to do, I stated that I could not comply for we did not have Biblical basis for divorce. I do not want to be alone for the rest of my life, and in re-marrying on the basis of a non-Biblical divorce would make me become an adulterer if I married again, for God sees our marriage as a life covenant. I want my wife back and I ask that you come in agreement with me that the Lord of Hosts will go into the enemies’ camp and bring back what was stolen from me. I want a good relationship with my step-daughter as well and ask that the Lord soften her heart and bring balance to her wanting to control her Mom. This is my request.
Thank You,
Adam Bradford and for Serrinia Bradford
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